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2011 2nd Annual Pittwater Hydro Derby Summer Invitational, Who's Who in the Zoo

2011 Team Profile: Team Gout

Team Gout: Gnawing at the metatarsal-phalangeal joint of the 2011 Hydro Derby

The 2011 Board of Competition Stewards are honoured to announce the second official team entry for the 2011 2nd Annual Pittwater Hydro Derby Summer Invitational! Whilst the scuttlebutt has held talk of a formidable force being assembled from west of the Great Divide for some weeks it was the arrival of a ill tempered sea bass at our Hydro HQ (Bangalore Sub-Outsourcing Registration Branch) that signaled the manifestation of their malevolent intent.

Any team that is out there representing the disease of kings has to be a force to be reckoned with… especially when they’ve selected the Death Star as their competitive Hydro Platform of choice. In lodging their entry the ill tempered sea bass delivered the following intel on the team…

Skipper Scoopa will be talking this up all day...

Joel ‘Skipper Scoopa’ De Stoop
The only thing stopping Skipper Scoopa catching fish is that he’ll spend all day aggrandizing previous fishing escapades and/or polishing his shotgun. With two wooden legs he’s hobbling in the footsteps of Captain Ahab.

Pete ‘Wrigleys’ Kelaher
The sales team at Fish Outta Water are still laughing about this bloke. Stitched up and paying a kings ransom for a plastic rod, if hooks anything bigger than a pre-pubescent toad fish from ramsay st it’ll be a miracle.

Ronnie ‘The Red Man’ Dadd
‘The Red Man’ is an unknown quantity in the fishing stakes. Last seen slashing hamstrings in paddling contests during the 1994 classic Rapa Nui he’s a claimed freshwater specialist from the wilderness of Gunnedah. Yet to show form in the salt apart from the aforementioned hamstring slashing, if he takes some time out from joining freckles in the sun, he may pose a threat.

Waders... sexy.

Luke ‘Steelhead’ Berry
On the back of a stellar session in the Salmon rivers of upstate New York, Luke ‘Steelhead’
Berry will only be held back by a case of crippling Gout, his old age and regular stops to change out his depends.

Sleeves? Who need's em?

Donk Dundas
Honing his skills on the muddy dams of far western NSW, this bloke knows how to handle a monotonous, fishless day………..lean into a crate of tins with a vengeance and reach for the dynamite. A liability and a half for Team Gout.

Bob ‘The Huck’ Huxley
About as good at fishing as Steven Hawkins is at rollerblading, this bloke wouldn’t know a kingfish if it bit his rod end. Nevertheless, an enthusiastic social athlete with a voracious appetite for all things that come in cans. Can’t handle the cold. A wet track will be the end of him.

Any team that includes this in their press release has got our attention

Joel ‘Roger the Cabin Boy’ Morris
Talks a big game but never, ever backs it up. EVER. Perpetual Deck Hand, he’s good for fetching beers and baiting hooks and not much else.

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  1. Pingback: Team Profile: The Triumphant Touristic Trawlers « Pittwater Hydro-Derby Summer Invitational - December 3, 2010

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